The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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