She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
