She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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