That's when you crack a 10am beer
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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