He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Drunk is a universal language darling
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