neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We need a shit load of segways right now
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
