I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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