Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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