Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
