You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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