So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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