Do vagina's smell?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
