one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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