In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
