a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
