maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it's like iHOP with fire
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
