tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well I just put wine in my tea
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
