Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
