i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays