ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.