Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Let's do it. All homo

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  (708): We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks." (1-708): Let's do it. All homo http://tfl.nu/evdg
  Replies (30) Good night (4380) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work

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  (419): having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work http://tfl.nu/n6gj
  Replies (5) Good night (456) Bad night (4043)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.

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  (816): Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes. http://tfl.nu/7aqq
  Replies (2) Good night (3293) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.

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  (316): He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed. http://tfl.nu/yb8r
  Replies (5) Good night (2304) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Run away.

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  (403): She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian. (403): Run away. http://tfl.nu/pkbx
  Replies (6) Good night (905) Bad night (1918)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy

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  (864): turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy http://tfl.nu/uoz8
  Replies (3) Good night (1109) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.

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  (205): I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/mhcf
  Replies (24) Good night (4133) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.

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  (651): I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class. http://tfl.nu/5a7w
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.

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  (567): I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it. http://tfl.nu/gm4t
  Replies (2) Good night (1433) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.

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  (909): I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit. http://tfl.nu/gsje
  Replies (5) Good night (499) Bad night (1403)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.

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  (708): Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves. http://tfl.nu/d1rk
  Replies (3) Good night (232) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Drunk yet?

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.

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  (336): Drunk yet? (980): Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/2v48
  Replies (0) Good night (653) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.

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  (405): Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro. http://tfl.nu/hr0t
  Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.

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  (310): I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady. http://tfl.nu/hbci
  Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?

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  (973): He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right? http://tfl.nu/vsli
  Replies (7) Good night (280) Bad night (608)

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