I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
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Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
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feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.