So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
