I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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