Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
