Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
