the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
