I am puke
My liver just broke up with me...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I stole a fireplace last night.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
