I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Holy shit dude........stairs
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
