Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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