Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
