I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize