Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
