come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I pour the whiskey from now on
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
