didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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