Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
