Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
