I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
