i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
