I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize