New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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