i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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