I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What a dumb baby whore.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
