Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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