Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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