I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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