shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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