And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
