glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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