And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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