Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
COCAINE IS GR8
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
