I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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