My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
