The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
