your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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