mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize