shes about as inviting as chlamydia
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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