I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
