ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
