Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Randomize
