my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
