Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
