So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
