My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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