You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I will die if light touches me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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