Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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